25 August 2011

The Burnley Revolution

Hello there happy crushers. I hope your Thursday is treating you well. I thought I would share a little story with you. Enjoy...

A few years ago, I was training down at the Burnley Bouldering wall quite a bit. Having been involved in the initial development and route setting I was always a big fan of the setup and thought it provided a great, free and easily accessible training venue for Melbourne climbers. Unfortunately, after a few years of heavy use, the wall, and the holds, were starting to deteriorate. Climbing on some holds in particular was akin to climbing on polished glass. Speaking about a very popular route on the beach in Thailand called The Lion King, a friend of mine once exclaimed "I felt like a 400 pound gorilla on ice skates" after time and time again slipping of the polished footholds. In it's current state, Burnley was starting to have a similar feel.

The final straw for me came with a bone jarring fall flat onto my back after slipping of two of the biggest jugs you have seen since Pamela Anderson hit our screens on Baywatch back in the 90's. A meeting was set up with the VCC to talk about the future of the wall and how it could be improved. The main objective of the meeting was to discuss how to get the holds cleaned and new routes put up. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, this was deemed "Impossible". We were told it would take weeks and a large amount of money to achieve what we were asking for, and in no uncertain terms that the wall would remain as it was, forever.

As you can imagine, this was extremely frustrating for those who had worked hard to set up this great facility. Why build a modern climbing wall, if you don't plan to ever re-set the problems???

Driving to the Grampians on a Friday night with my good mate Timmy Le, we got talking about the situation at Burnley. Timmy had played a major part in getting the wall up and running, organising all the steel, preparing design drawings and doing the welding. He was even more frustrated than I was. Out of the blue, Timmy said "I still have keys to wall you know?!" At that I moment, I distinctly remember looking at his face; I could see the cogs in his brain turning and I knew what he was thinking, because I was thinking the same thing. A wry smile came over his face and I knew what he was going to say before the words left his mouth... "Stealth Mission"

We started talking about how we could sneak in and re-set a single wall under the radar. What tools would we need? How many people would we need to help? What if we get caught? A dozen or so phone calls later and we had another eight or so eager participants in what had by this stage been dubbed 'Team Action Direct', Vive La Revolution!

The following Saturday, under the cover of darkness our team of mercenaries arrived at the Burnley wall at 5am. We had the 45 degree wall stripped by 7:30am. Using a borrowed trailer and about $15 at the local carwash, we had the holds cleaned by 9:30 and the wall fully reset by mid afternoon proving to "the man" that he was wrong. An entire wall, stripped, cleaned and new problems set in a day, organised in less than a week and at a cost of around $15. Personally I spent another $15 on coffee that day but that's a different story.

Afterwards, my good friend Kent "The Red Duck" Paterson (I use that term loosely), wrote a humorous little story regarding our exploits on Chockstone that I thought would be worth posting here.






I must say that i am mighty concerned about these developments.

As a regular user of this facility, i was unaware of the disruption this "unscheduled route setting" would cause. My good friends Yuji and Francois travelled all the way from southern France to sample this great wall. It has quite a reputation on the international circuit.

Anyhow, we had just started to commence our 36 move warm up circuit on Saturday morning, when we were confronted by 5 hooded individuals at approximately 5:30am. I introduced myself, to try and ease the tension. One balaclava adorned individual parted ways from the pack to greet me. His steely glare hidden by a rather feminine set of spectacles.

I greeted him in a most friendly manner.

"Bonjour gentlemen"

He sneered back at me.

"What are you looking at mate ?!"

Ï responded,

"We are trying to train for Beijing 2012, but your problems... they are very... shall i say, easy"

Grinding his teeth and raising his voice.

"Well, this ain't Paris mate and I sure ain't going to take cheek from a mofo such as yourself. It's time to rack off frogies, we are going to mess some s#it up".

Francois and i were in shock. We had never experienced this type of behavior on the streets of Paris before, nor heard such crude language in a public arena. Francois was so upset at this point that he decided to cancel the circuit and leave immediately.

"Í will not put up wit zis behavior". He then proceeded to walk to Victoria street, to eat croissants and escargots.

Yuji on the other hand grew up in downtown Tokyo, and he made it clear that he wasn't going to have a bar of this heavy handed behavior. He once told me that he worked in a gang as a youth. It's a legitimate career for wayward youths in those parts. He's division was in the procurement and sale of drift-cars to overseas clients. If there was one thing that Yuji learnt from this brief stint, was to never let your guard down. Ever.

My heart skipped a beat. Yuji had just fallen off the circuit. 33 moves out of 36. He knew that this spelled the end of the day, and possibly the impending European circuit in two weeks time. To say that he was unhappy was a massive understatement.

Yuji rose from the ground pointing at a yellow uncarved block hold.

"Yis hold, i am zure it moved".

He was right. It seemed that all the holds were now moving. The holds were being removed from inside the wall. Yugi was furious that his session had been rudely disrupted and he would no longer be in peak condition for future events. He bolted to the back of the wall. And removed his toothbrush. Or what seemed to be tootbrush, it actually doubled as a flick blade.

*Crash... bang*

He charged the offenders but was soon overpowered. His ninga like reflexes were no match for four trained thugs awaiting him, allen-keys in hand. The flick knife dropped to the ground as Yuji began his retreat. Jumping into the Yarra, he began doggy paddling across the river leaving me alone at the scene.

I jumped to the flick knife, knowing that it was my only chance to get out of this hell hole alive. However, like a scene out of a lifesaver competition, i was beaten to the prize by a more athletic competitor. His decidedly small hands were quick. I knew that wrestling with him would prove fruitless, as allen key bandits were still on the loose. I quickly rolled onto my feet. Months of parkour training in London had made me as nimble as a quail and ready for such a situation.

I dashed from the scene. Before i could escape i felt a distinct tug on my jeans.

Close my friend but no cigar, i thought. As i heard him crash into the concrete path.

As i looked back on the scene i saw the common thug laughing in delight. He had captured our only guide to the area. Like confetti at a wedding, the PDF was ripped up and thrown into the Yarra, as the thugs screamed in unison.

"Viva la revolution!!"

24 August 2011

Testing out the new board


YouTube Video

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Sunbury sessions

23 August 2011

The great woody of the west, up and ready for a pull!



Me almost up the wall in 2 moves hahaha



Philby hustling his way up the problems.



4th day on, and poor Al's tips aren't too happy..... (artwork care of Alicia Neville)


The woody is finally up and running at my place. Tonight we popped it's cherry. I can foresee many hours spent out here in the coming months.

-TheBigAl

A taste of Spring

We have been fortunate enough to be treated to a taste of some amazing Spring weather the past few days, with perfect climbing conditions on offer. I hope you have all been making the most of it and getting out on the rock! Days like these make it even harder to be at work than normal.

The big news of the weekend was Horsham lad Graeme Dick making use of the primo conditions by sending Ethiopa (30). A fantastic effort especially considering he climbed the whole route 2-3 times before sending only to fall just shy of the top in the final roof crack. The original "Gaylord Norman" has been in fine form of late dispatching Tourniquet (30), Final Departure (27) and a swag of other classics out at the mount. Clearly, living in "the sham" does have it's perks!!

Alby has had a ripping few days in the Gramps and been a busy little beaver putting up new problems and scrubbing new lines. I'm sure he will be posting an update soon with some pictures, but at the rate he's going, he will probably need to update the already out of date bouldering guide as well. :)

Personally, I had a ripper of a weekend out at the mount with my lovely wife. We spent two days climbing classic after classic up at Central Gully LS. Highlights of the weekend were Pebbles (22), Straw Dogs (22), Squeakeasy (22) and Horoscope (24). I think I had forgotten how good Arapiles was, so many classic at all grades. Squeakeasy in particular has got to be one of the best (and hardest) 22's going around. I would love to get out to the mount more often, but I always find it hard to drive past the Gramps.

By now, every man and his dog has heard that we have a few visiting Rock stars in the Gramps. Dave Graham and Nalle Hukateiavelailell have been sampling the delights of our backyard. No news yet on sends, projects or new lines, but I'm hopeful that they can leave their mark on the place by dispatching a few of the amazing open projects on offer, both on the blocs and of course the wall - Taipan.





New things and old things in The Grampians

Ok so quick update while I'm sitting here at uni. The last couple of weeks has seen a flurry of activity around the boulders out Gramps way. I found a new wall near trackside, doing a sweet fridge lifter arête called 'Conga Fury' which I think might be about V8. Theres a hard looking crimpy project next to it that i tried briefly and will return to next week. Also nabbed the 2nd ascent of Ravens 'The Oyster' V8 after a very thorough brushing of the pressout at the top earlier that day.

Scotty 'sparky' Clarke continued the charge of the 'new fathers club' knocking off 'Butthole Surfer' V9/10 and 'Amniotic World' V9 in a quick trip out with his son Euan and the Trapperzoid. Philby almost did 'Body Eater' V8 too that day.

This weekend just gone I got out to Legoland where I added another problem called 'Starstruck' which was pretty fierce. Named in honor of the 20+ people up at Hollow Mountain Cave that day, gave that one V9. Also tried a new bulgy number to the left to no avail. Will be back for that one soon :)

Also managed to get out to Burnside for a morning with the ginger ninja and his pal Kade(?? Sorry bro terrible with names) where him and I both did the 10 out there, as well as adding some rad warm up problems in the cave go the right.

Anyway, I have the next 3-4 days here in Melbourne then it's back out to the blocs for about a week thanks to mid semester uni holidays. WOOOO SPRING BREAK!!!

-TheBigAl (via his iPhone. Geek!!)

15 August 2011

Gorges du Tarn - 2011

I had always wanted to go climbing in Europe, France in particular. As it is for many, Ceuse was the destination of choice. A world famous crag of immaculate streaked limestone in a majestic setting, what more could you ask for? A plan was hatched to set off on a 5 week trip starting in mid June 2011. This coincided nicely with my wife Alicia heading off to the good old US of A for a month of swinging & debauchery with a few girlfriends.

I had heard from quite a few people that Ceuse can be a very busy crag, especially in high season, and the more I researched the more I started to worry. I love climbing for many reasons, meeting new and interesting people being one of them, but as your mother always used to say “Everything in moderation”. I wanted to go on a climbing holiday, somewhere amazing, somewhere new but also somewhere I could relax, enjoy the climbing and not worry too much about anything else. I wanted to be able to try any route which took my fancy and go for a red-point when I felt ready, not when it was my turn. Finally after re-reading the Pleb’s epic trip report (http://captainsofcrushaustralia.blogspot.com/2009/09/second-best-cliff-in-world.html), I began to realise that perhaps Ceuse wasn’t what I was looking for this trip.

One cold weekend away in the Grampians with Grosey, we got talking about his euro-crusher tour of 2006. He had spent a month in the Gorges du Tarn during his trip and raved about the place, it's setting and giant 50 meter pitches of limestone pumping up imposing, and often run out walls. The next few days found me trawling the internet for as much information as I could find on the tarn. It didn’t take long for me to realise that this was a world class crag, and after looking at countless images and reading a few articles on the place, I was sold. How was this place not already on my radar? A little bit more searching revealed that within 20 minutes drive of the tarn, lay the Gorges de la Jonte and Gorges de la Dourbie, both of which have hosted Petzl Roctrip's in the past, so there would be no shortage of great climbing to be had.


Gorges du Tarn guide, climber on Les ailes du desir (8a/29) on the cover. One of the best routes ive done.


Paulie on the train to Montpellier

I still had one problem though... No climbing partners. Luckily that problem lasted about as long as fat Nick Sutter swearing off ice-cream. One mention of a climbing trip to France to my friends Pat & Mel had them hooked. Shortly after, Pablo the Italian greyhound joined the team, and last but not least, one of my best mates Chris threw his hat in the ring. The team was assembled, plans were made and I continued to scour the internet like a deranged porn fiend looking for videos, photos and any beta I could find. The result of all this “preparation” was that by the time I finally arrived in the tarn, I was able to navigate seamlessly through the guidebook and between crags, name all the classic routes at all grades and generally make myself look like a sad sack with no life to the rest of the team. The other problem with this approach is that you end up with a hit list containing 300-400 routes, clearly a difficult task to achieve in just over 4 weeks.

D-Day: After escaping Melbourne airport by the skin of our teeth (the airport was closed for a few days an hour after we flew due to a volcanic ash cloud), it was simply a matter of a lazy 22 hour flight, 4 hour train ride and 2 hour drive before we arrived in the tarn. Driving down the valley into Millau the first thing you notice is the vast amount of rock in the region. We gawked at crag after crag of gorgeous limestone scattered across the valley only to find out later that there was little to no climbing on any of it as it was all too far from the car. The French, and euro’s in general, are so spoilt for choice when it comes to quality climbing!

We stayed at the lovely Camping-Beldoire in the quaint little village of Les Vignes. If you’re climbing in the tarn, Les Vignes is probably best place to stay. Its close enough that you can walk to the climbing if you wish, has a small supermarket, couple of little coffee shops and most importantly a ‘depot de pain’, which is a bakery and not the local BDSM venue as we initially thought.


The view from our pad

The first few days was spent getting a feel for the rock, working out when everything was in the sun/shade, trying to find an open supermarket and drinking quite a few beers. At 12 euro a slab, it seemed a crime to not knock back a few cold ones at the end of a days’ climbing. We visited a number of fun crags including Club House, La Muse, Tressor du Zebra and de que fas aqui in the first few days. There was loads of variety with corners, thin faces and of course steep pocket pulling on offer. Highlights from the first few days were the 35m Jeux de page (6a/19), Tressor du Zebra (7a/23), a soaring traverse that would be perhaps the best 7a in the tarn closely followed by Les coluilles au cul (7a/23) an amazingly long and delicate technical corner and face. Chris, Pat and I got our boulder going on a short little 8a/29 at sector La muse called tu me dezolve, while Pablo opened up an account on the short and sharp 3615 Biceps (7b/25).


The view!!




Pat on Tressor du Zebra (7a/23), a stunning line!


Chris tu me dezolve (8a/29)

Most of the crags in the tarn get morning sun, and start to come into the shade in the early arvo. This suited me to a tee. Anyone who’s climbed with me will know I’m not exactly a morning person. In fact, on a trip to Thailand in 2006 I was dubbed “Captain Snooze”. Thus a typical day in the tarn for Chris, Pablo and I went something like this... Get up about 9:30am, gorge ourselves on coffee, Master Crumble, baguette and generally laze about. Come 2pm or so we would head off to the crag and climb till roughly 9:30pm. Head back to the cabin, cook diner, drink beer, watch family guy or the mighty boosh for an hour or so then pass out.

On the other hand, Pat seemed to find the best conditions of the day were early mornings in the blazing sun (He is from WA after all) and took a particular liking to the impressive and ever popular de que fas aqui sector. Even though he hadn’t climbed for a few months prior to the trip, he found form quickly and managed to knock over a host of classics including Moulas Fritas (8a/29), ???? (7c+/28) and a host of onsights in the 7a-7b+ range.

After the first few days, confidence was growing and we started to scope out a few of the harder things on offer in the area. An evening at the very steep Gullich sector saw us knock over a fantastic little 7c/27 called action discrete, which ended up being one of the highlights of the trip for me. Not because it was an amazing 5 star classic, but for the fact that I managed to send in near complete darkness whilst wearing a head torch. More impressive though was Pat sending it as a warmup before breakfast the next morning. Over at Moulin à huile was a beautiful scalloped scoop of small pockets involving an intricate series of cross throughs called Auver gniaque (7c+). This little beauty went down 4th burn for me and Pat, while Chris pulled out all stops to flash the thing. It was fantastic to watch, though his comment of “There’s a new sheriff in town boys” whilst lowering off the route was a little concerning.

In the meantime we started to notice something strange occurring in amongst the ranks. It seemed that about 4pm every day Pablo would get this glazed look about him followed by 2-3 hours sitting by the pool drinking beer and eating potato chips. We never caught him in the act, but there was no doubting the fact that he must have been sneaking of into the bushes for a few sneaky cones. Of course, he flatly denied it, but I’m sure this was simply because he didn’t want to share. He took a particular liking to our rest day activates which included kayaking down the tarn river, visiting the beach at Montpellier, shopping at Decathlon (The Bunning’s warehouse of outdoor stores) and smashing out the French pastries like nobody’s business. “Pan of chocolate anyone?”
Edit: As it turns out Pablo had just found out he was going to be a dad!! So in hindsight I can understand this strange behavior. Congrats Pablo and Col-train!!

Tennessee Wall: The wall we came to Europe for.
We were fast running out of excuses not to get on this amazing 50 odd meter high wall. We had scoped it out during the first few days, and I think we would be lying if we said we weren’t a little intimated. Back home in Oz, we don’t really have anything to prepare you for this type of climbing. Our longest single pitch routes (Serpentine for example) are typically broken up by ledges, knee bars, hand jams etc but not here... Here you had to deal with 50+m of pocketed limestone offering no respite from the lactic acid till the anchors were reached. To add to the fun, the higher you got on the wall, the further apart the bolts would get. One look at this classic photo from the guide of a climber way out above the bolt was enough to keep us away for the first week or so.


Climber on Les Nouvelles Plantations du Christ (8a/29)

Interestingly enough, the sheriff had decided that I was up for first crack at the famous Les Nouvelles Plantations du Christ (8a/29). He’s such a nice guy. The line follows a nice easy corner to start before breaking right onto a thin face with lots of small pockets and crimps broken up by a few jugs. The position on the wall is spectacular and the climbing is only just to the left of the beautiful and world famous arête of Tennessee (8b/31). First lap up went as expected; a low fall off the first crux and a little bit of dogging had me to the half way anchors 35m up (7c+/28 to this point). I surprised myself by sending part 1 on my 3rd burn. Strangely unsatisfied though, I knew I had to go to the top. A slightly scary first lap on the top part and I’d sorted the moves, but the question grinding at me and keeping me awake at night... “How hard will that last grade 22 mantle move feel after 50 meters of climbing?” Thankfully, it felt pretty straight forward and Chris and I managed to send full 55m pitch on a fantastic summers evening a few days later. I was pretty stoked as this was one of the routes I really wanted to do while here, and it had gone down with relative ease.


Me sending Les Nouvelles Plantations du Christ (8a/29)


Me sending Les Nouvelles Plantations du Christ (8a/29)




Chris lowering off Les Nouvelles Plantations du Christ (8a/29)

We spent the next few days doing a bunch of classics in the 6c-7b range. The tarn really shines in these grades, with classic after classic popping its head up. At the Grand Twat (Toit), Naissance and Produit Daubant (7b/25) were both fantastic. The Canyon sector offered the technical and pumpy Tot ou’ tarn (7b), and up at L’amphi, La veuve noir (7b/25) and Jour de doye (7a+/24) were both incredible 35 meter pitches of intricate face climbing and probably a couple of the highlights of the trip for me. At de que fas aqui there was the super techy and intimidating C100 francs (6c+), the long and thought provoking Self Control (7a) and the amazing corners and laybacks of Fariente (7a).

Back up at Tennessee it was time to try Les Ailes du desir (8a/29), another famous route on this amazing wall. The English translation is ‘the wings of desire’, and I couldn’t think of a more appropriate route name. Pumped out of your mind miles above your last draw, you have to fully commit to the crux sequence or risk a huge fall. It’s completely safe of course; the wall is so steep you just end up hanging in space, but for some reason that doesn’t make it any less exciting. The route can be broken into two sections. It’s (7b+/26) to the halfway anchor, and I was quite keen to have a crack on onsighting the first part. I had managed to avoid seeing anyone on the route over the first few weeks and set off up the funky start. After a delicate stemming section you traverse rightwards on some huge buckets before pulling into a few little boulder problems. I kept on pushing through and before I knew it I was at the first anchors. I had a brief moment of celebration in my mind as I had just onsighted my hardest pitch of climbing, but I was still on the wall. Shaking out and looking up at the imposing wall above, I figured, “I’m here now, I want to do the whole route, I may as well have a crack!” After recovering as much as I could (which wasn’t much) I ventured out onto the exposed face and tried to climb as smoothly as possible. After 3 more bolts of climbing I was about 40m up with only another 15 or so to go. I started to think, I might actually onsight this whole thing... Clearly delusional, I moved up to a good positive pinch and could see that the next sequence was going to be tough. Huge move out right, then about 6 stupidly small hand movements gained me another 6 inches of height. I was boxed, so pumped, but kept pushing and made a big throw to what looked to be a large pocket... It wasn’t. I was off, but super psyched to have given it a good crack. Turns out I had fallen of the start of the crux sequence which was seriously cool. From a pair of shotgun pockets you cross up with your left hand to a shallow 2 finger underling, work the feet up and bust out right to a mono. Feet up again and pounce to a good edge with the right hand, then technical grade 24ish climbing to the top after that. Chris made a valiant flash attempt, getting well into the crux sequence before pump got the better of him. In keeping with the symmetry of the trip so far, we both sent on another perfect French summers evening, before retreating back to camp for a swim, celebratory pizzas’ and Ice-cream.


Nice place for a dip when the weather was warm


With only a few days to go, I was relaxed and happy to go with the flow. I had done the two routes I came to Europe for, two amazing long pitches, famous routes on a fantastic wall. I couldn’t have been happier. We did some super fun routes up at Le Trone and Shaddocks, or was it shamrocks, I can’t remember? Pablo managed to drag himself away from his bong long enough to cruise his project at La Muse, 3615 Biceps, in process ticking his first 7b/25. He finished of the trip nicely by climbing the super steep Body Building (7a+/24) about six times. A huge improvement for the lad, I can only imagine what he could achieve if he just laid of the cones.
On our last day I managed to punt of the very last move while attempting to onsight Le plasir qui demonte (7c/27) and then completely loose my shit when I fell in the same spot on the second burn. Thankfully, I managed to bag the route 3rd shot for my last route of trip and super nice way to leave the tarn. The sheriff of course showed me what I punter I am by flashing the thing.

So there you have it, Gorges du Tarn. There is so much I have left out of this little trip report, so many amazing routes that didn’t get a mention and a heap of fond memories that will stay with me always. We had the place almost to ourselves and the weather was primo. Coupled with the fact that the scenery is some of the most beautiful you will ever see, I would highly recommend it to anyone keen to sample the delights of French limestone. I hope one day I can go back as we only just scraped the surface of this majestic place.










We heard on the grapevine whilst overseas that the Ceuse campground was chock full and there was roughly 300 people staying in the carpark... Glad we gave that one a miss. 
Till next time.


















09 August 2011

H-taping... Way of the future

A nice little instructional video.