Welcome? Back......

Hello faithful readers (and COC virgins)......it has been awhile, some say not long enough. Alas it appears we are back. I am not really sure why it has been so long, perhaps members of the A-Team just got bored blogging (insert spraying/whinging) about the Melbourne scene or lack thereof. Perhaps certain members felt the group had lost its direction admist character subplots better suited to midday television rubbish. This question is probably best left unanswered.......as to delve into such a mystery would be the end of yours truely; so lets get on with it shall we.

Quick rehash of what's gone down in my past 12 months

July - After recently breaking up with Al as housemates (miss you bro) I went to Nowra with Jacqui and met up with KP, Sutter and Mick Wells. It was rad although didn't tick much. I did manage to flash some classics on my last day, including Ain't No Sunshine, 28. Then it rained.

August - Looked for a place with Al, big enough for the MasterChef and I to build a woody, and hopefully prevent Jacqui returning to Germany = FAIL

Sept - Moved into Napier St with KP; built Hangboard and cleaned up the backyard.

Oct - Dec - work took over as I was coming up to Qualification Panel exams. Jacqui had gone back to Germany to study, so I was brokenhearted and in a slump. Climbing was centred on Little Hands Cave where we've established 3 routes and 4 projects there. I repeated Sutter's testpiece Steel on Steel, 28 (originally 27 but consensus = upgrade) and put up my own unrepeated Substance D, 29; a 12 meter long, bouldery roof, with a 6 move crux that is RAD......could be harder???

Big Al's photo of Me on Wild Orchids, 30 - early attempt with Wetnuts at the Belay!

Jan - too hot to climb, but spent some time at Stapleton with Mick and his Girlfriend Nicky who I had met back in Nowra. Not much climbing got done, but managed to do some training laps of Tyranny 28/29 in 42 degree heat = dumb idea. I had to take 2 days off due to heat exhaustion.

Feb - Busted my arse and worked heaps of overtime to take 12 days off and headed to Thailand to catch up with Jacqui which was bloody awesome. Managed to get 3 mornings of climbing in at Ton Sai. Met up with my good mate Lawry Dermody, Adelaide expat now living in Stockholm with Emilee his girlfriend. Lawry and Em were at the beginning of a 5 month Asia/Australia climbing trip. Routes wise, I got a up a handful of 28's and 29's and squeezed in a send of Old Chicken Makes Good Soup, 30/8a+ with about 20 mins before boarding the boat outta there. Rest of my trip was scuba diving and hanging out with Jacqui.

Ton Sai Bay

March - Endurance Training, at Bayside and Spurt. Repeated classics including Fabio's Route, 29; one of my favourites. Temperatures however were bloody hot!

April - Competed at Victorian State Titles held at Bayside Rock. This was the first competition climbing I had done in 9 years, excluding bouldering comps that is. I was so nervous....I think I had put a lot of pressure on myself, going in quietly confident (unusual for me). This probably didn't do me any favours. All day I felt as though I was on speed......heart racing at 120 beats/min even when resting, not that I condone taking drugs kids. Nervous energy sucks, almost shook myself off the wall during the first heat. Its also really tiring. I had eaten all my food by the second heat and even fell asleep during the isolation before the final. All that said and done, I was able to make one move slightly more controlled than Sean Powell from NSW and came away with a victory. In the end it was a great suprise. Not only that, it was also the first time my family had come to see me climb (luckily it was only the final). I was super stoked!

All comp photos care of JP photography http://www.jpowerphoto.com/

Since I missed out on easter cause of workin some crazy shifts, I headed up to Blackheath in the Blue Moutains and had a blast. Again not ticking anything, but tried some cool routes. My aim had been to try and onsight routes or within one or two shots, something I struggle with. I also managed to catch up with a bunch of old friends and great people. Lawry and Em had rented a house so stayed with them. It was great to see Benny

Boy, Elmar , Kat and most of the former Vic Scene; Philipa, Christoph, Jules, Vince and Helen. Those few days have reignited my desire to eventually move up.

May - The weather had started to get more stable in the Grampians, so we hit up the northern sectors on mid week day trips, as the south was still subject to road closures. I had some fitness under my belt from the month prior, and managed to get up two Nathan Hoette Spurt Wall gems; firstly the seldom attempted The Nipple Cripple, 30 and then a week or so later Spurted, 31. The later being a link up of Tyranny and Lifestyling and some really cool climbing. My attention was going to turn to Who's a Naughty Boy Then, however it began to rain again on the one weekend I had up there. Therefore focus turned towards the smaller rocks. I managed to get myself up Butcher's Choice, V10 during one of the most enjoyable bouldering sessions I've had in a long time. Lawry (now in the Grampians) and Samey from Canada, also jumping onboard the send train.

The Cripple Nipple, 30 - Mayumi Knight's Photo post tick.

Ok so that was more long winded than I had first thought. Now we get to June and the here and now. Well, some time ago I decided that my next leave block was to go climbing somewhere new. At the time a South African mate, Mickey, was staying in Melb. Talk of the Rocklands bouldering got me wet....on the finger tips that is. So as with all half arsed plans I come up with, I booked tickets within a couple days. Boy I am fucking amped now though. Originally I had planned to go on my own and meet up with Dave 'Wetnuts' Wetmore (former pinup boy of COC Aust.) from the states. Fast forward to now and I am heading over with Omar 'Slowpoke' Cortez, and meeting with Elmar Jerg and Damian from the Blue Mtns and Mick and Nicky from Adelaide. Fuck its going to be awesome. I'll have a month to go to a boudering in a climbers paradise. Sandstone blocks that look like those in the Gramps, only bigger and more abundant. This will be my first bouldering trip since Castle Hill (NZ) in 2007 - which was an awesome adventure in its own right.

Quick News Flash - Lawry continues to rip up the Grampians and is very close to Groove Train, 33 (if he can find a belayer). Byron Glover (NSW wunderkind) and Samey Lacombe have been ripping up the Gramps with sends of Lifestyling 30, and Sleepy Hollow, V11 and Who's A Naughty Boy Then?, 31 and Butcher's Choice, V10 respectivly - fucking sick!!

Local Heros Sutter and KP have put up some new routes in the past week. Sutter has cleaned up a Muline classic, Peruvian Thumbs, 31 and KP has clutched grunted and locked through his Cum Agendas.....I mean Young Offenders, 28 at Cut Lunch Walls. Nice One boys! Adam Demmert has completed his extension to Rage, 29 on Taipain to give Angst at the same grade. And last but be no means least, Steve 'Silent but Deadly' Pollard has continued his reign of fury with recent ticks of Punks in the Gym, 32 and Lifestyling 30 in as many days. Then only last week, after Lawry and I spent 3 layers of skin unlocking the Butcher's Choice, Steve manages to flash the bastard for his personal best flash - V10. Holy shit-balls batman this guy's on fire!!!

Ok next post will probably be from South Africa......no doubt once I'm back in the swing of things, there'll be more of my usual bullshit wit and slander. Until then, peace out.

- Grosey

Weekend wrap-up & work wind-down

So there's a problem at the Titanic boulder called Collision Course (V9), which I have tried on a couple of previous occasions without success. Starting on a pair of miserable underclings, you have to pull on and up to a bad 2/3 finger pocket with the left hand, then dyno to a jug with the right. It's maybe, V3/4 to the top after that. It's a classic 2-move wonder in that if you can pull your ass off the ground your halfway there.

As it happens, I found myself there over the weekend trying the problem again & again and sucking majorly. Que everyone's favorite miniature pocket rocket, Timmy Le busting out the iPod and speakers with some Missy Elliot 'get ya freak on'..... Inspired by the sudden introduction of such a classic tune, I jump up and scream "I'm psyched, gona smash!!!" or something similarly lame, run and sit under the problem and pull on.... 15 seconds later I'm standing on top of the boulder wondering what the hell just happened. Who would've thought that Missy Elliot was sending music? My friend Alyssa tells me "she has that effect on everyone" and I'm left wondering, "Where have you been all my life Missy?"




Renaissance man and the original "weakest man to climb 8b" Joey-O is getting right back in the game and getting out on the rock again which is great to see. He is still putting the beers away like nobody's business then crushing the next morning just like the old days. All we need now is the Joey-O /Toby Pola Reunion tour. Over the weekend Joey managed a 2nd shot send of KP's super classic Peace Keeper (Stout 26) at Amnesty wall. Keep it up Joey. Timmy Le also opened an account on Peacekeeper putting the moves together very quickly and looking strong, while Leash made huge progress on her project Tyrants Grasp (22) doing a really good link and sussing some new beta. Watch this space for sendage news.



I also made some great progress on my Project over the weekend getting very close to the send. Leash snapped a couple of ripper Pics in the afternoon sun that I thought I would share. I reckon with a bit of Euro fitness under my belt this thing is going down when I get back.


The first moves of the crux sequence



What a finish!!! Big 1-4.5 Campus move to big flatter


Only 3.3456789 work days to go, then a lazy Saturday with my lovely and then Europe bound!! :)

Peace.
Philby

Captains Blog.... Reloaded.

You may have noticed (or probably not since there are only about 8 people who actually read this shit) that we have had a bit of a hiatus here at the Captains Blog. Not so much because nothing has been happening. On the contrary, there have been plenty of notable sends in the last 12 months or so, but I guess none of us have really bothered to write anything down.

Well, a bit like Michael Jordan, this old blog will attempt to come out of retirement and reach the lofty heights of yesteryear (I am obviously being sarcastic, we were always scraping the bottom of the barrel). Let's just say we will try and make it readable with minimal spelling mistakes for a start :)

I have been having a good think about this blog, it's content and what I want people to get out of it. I recently purchased a new HD handycam and have been playing around with making some climbing vids. My plan is to try and get a heap more photo's and videos up here to get people psyched to get out and on the rock and crush their projects. Also, if your keen to share, we would welcome any pics or video from others who would like to contribute to the blog.

In addition to more pics & vids, my new aim here is to report not only on the up's & downs, trials and tribulations (or in Joshy's case recent tantrums & current BMI) of the team, but post as many updates as I can on general climbing related happenings. A bit like what Jakey B & Deano were doing with Whipper-Mag (RIP), where they were reporting not only on ascents and happenings in the upper echelon, but taking the time to give kudos to people getting out there, trying their best and knocking over their projects... whatever the grade may be. I've noticed this has also started happening a bit on www.8a.nu which i think is great (Good job Lee).

In just over a weeks time, I will be heading to France with a crew of some of finest people you could ever hope to travel with for 5 weeks of climbing. I honestly can't wait, it's going to be an amazing experience. Sadly, the trip will be missing a few key ingredients though... If only I could add a pint of Ali-D, a sprinkle of Joshy, a dash of Big-Al, 2 cups of Alyssa, one red duck, one coach, a select portion of the Sydney crew, team Dr.-Dre and one small Asian dude the recipe for deliciousness would be complete. Alas, I cant bring them along but will see you all when we get back.

We have a cabin in the Gorges du Tarn and will be climbing at some of the world class crags in the area including the tarn itself, the Gorges De la roubie, Gorges de la Jonte & Cantobre. I will try to update the blog regulary with goings on, some pretty pictures and maybe even some video.

Until then, happy climbing.

Philby

Mountains Life

I am sitting at my desk. Looking out the window of my new home. A big green corrugated iron shed- complete with bathroom, kitchen and tractor room. And a roo has just bounced past. It’s another classic Blackheath day- a day where I wake up to the sound of rain trinkling onto my tin roof. A day where I look out the window and there is no sun to be seen. It seems the sun in Blackheath goes on frequent holiday. Off to a faraway place, and to return when it’s ready. A bit like the local folk I suppose.

My big bed Doug made.

This is my first time moving away from Melbourne. Some say, “You are so lucky! To go on holiday for a year and now live where you can climb as much as you want”. I say- “Luck doesn’t have much to do with it.” It was a very conscious decision, to uphaul my life and move to the unknown. To a place away from all my dearest, dearest friends. Away from my loving family who would do anything in the world for me. Away from my favourite cake and dessert cafes. My favourite bar. The beloved Grampians. The local gyms. My appreciative work places. My comfort zone.

It’s been far from easy. I moved here homeless. Jobless. Friendless. With pretty much ‘less’ of everything, apart from time. And I have come to realise, time can often be one’s worst enemy. Too much time, and one can dwell on life’s most complicated questions. Left with too much time, and no societal norms- one questions their accomplishments in life. Confidence takes a bit of a nose dive.

So why make such a large sacrifice? Most people choose where to live based on where their career can flourish. Or where their family is. Or where the climate is desirable for a year long tan. I chose to live in “Bleakheath”, 1000m above sea level. Away from my family, serious job prospects and good sushi. Oh rockclimbing- how you make me question my life!

But it’s done. And I am starting to like it. I don’t go out partying and dance the night away anymore. I now have dinner parties and drink a glass of wine. I walk down the main street and buy fresh bread (and maybe a piece of cake) from the local Cambodian Bakery. I don’t drive to the other side of Melbourne to catch up with my girlfriends. Instead, as I walk back to my car from the bakery, I bump into them. I miss my friends back home- and if I think about it too much, I am overcome with an overwhelming sense of sadness. Because I know, as hard as I try, I won’t be able to stay friends with all of them. But, it’s the choice I have made, and slowly, I am building some friendships here. Earning the trust, respect and generosity friends deserve.

I feel like I need to play catch up on the classics around the Mountains. I am surrounded by so many talented, strong and motivated people that have such an extensive list of accomplishments in climbing (and life). It is a constant reminder and motivator to get out there and get better. Onsight. Multipitch. Siege. Go cragging.

I feel like I am finally getting into the groove of the style here. Sharp, crimpy cranking. I did my first 31 just before Christmas. Starring at the Sea at Wave Wall. It’s almost my anti-style. I like jugs and steepness. This route has tiny razors and is only slightly overhanging- but classic. I am really psyched to complete a route that felt so utterly desperate, and left me so sore and fatigued the day after. But, as the efficiency came, so did the fitness. And with that, success and a flutter of confidence. Quite a foreign feeling since leaving Europe.

Starring at the Sea (Pic- Doug McConnell)

And it seems with a little confidence and fitness other classics have followed. I had a great day out a few weeks ago, completing Tripe (30), Green Eggs and Ham (28) and Onions (27) in one day. All came down to good conditions :) Other “must do’s” are Don’t Believe the Tripe (29). Tsunami (29). Returnity (28) and Fresh Goats Milk (28).

So please- let this be the start of a long and enjoyable journey. Abundant of challenges and success. And crisp, breezy, sunny days!

Spankin' the Monkey Bars V8

- A Hah

The Story of No Chance

No Chance and His Journey to Climbing Greatness (Part 1)

By the Boardlord

This is the story of ‘No Chance’.

One day, No Chance was hanging out by the local cliff, wondering why he felt so pumped. He’d just gone up a route his strong mates had just flashed as their warm up, yet he couldn’t even get past the 3rd bolt.

No Chance turned to Big Chance and asked him why this was so. Big Chance said “you’re not strong enough for this sucker!” which kind of left No Chance wondering what this whole gig was about climbing. Was he getting pumped because he was simply weak, or was he getting pumped because he had no ‘endurance’. He decided to ask Even Better Chance.

Even Better Chance told him that there was a little thing called a boulder problem at the 3rd bolt.

“What’s a ‘boulder problem?’ replied No Chance.

Even Better Chance said that it was a sequence of moves that were extremely powerful in relation to the rest of the route.

“How can I do this ‘boulder problem’? replied No Chance.

“You have to start training power little grasshopper”, stated Even Better Chance, who had already run three laps of the said route and wasn’t remotely pumped in the slightest.

“But I thought routes were all about something called ‘enduro-pumping’, said No Chance.

“That’s where you’re wrong”, interjected Best Chance. Best Chance was there with his wife, Had A Chance, and his daughter, In With A Chance. Best Chance was famous for his uncanny ability to walk up grade 29’s on a daily basis, but what No Chance didn’t realise, was that he was also a V10 boulderer.

“Power is your lifeline to so-called endurance”, continued Best Chance. “Without power, you are nothing.”

“I told you that you were crap”, F*ck All Chance blurted in. (F*ck All Chance was a mate of No Chance, and was still struggling with top roping the local warm up route, despite getting on it every weekend for the last 7 years). Not surprisingly, he’d never bouldered a day in his life.

“Not as crap as I am” said Fat Chance, who was standing nearby looking absolutely wasted (he’d just completed the walk-in).

“So how come people can climb 30 metre overhanging routes and not get pumped?” asked No Chance. “That’s not power, that’s endurance!”

“Aaah!” replied Half A Chance (who was trying to get In With A Chance to go out with him, although he didn’t have much of a chance of that). “It boils down to one thing really. Finger strength. That’s why you often see fat looking bastards waltz up hard routes. It’s what you can hold onto that counts.” He glanced over at In With A Chance, but she was smiling at Fat Chance, who had just tripped over a rope and sprained his ankle.

“He’s right” said Best Chance, “and the best way of obtaining that strength is to go bouldering”.

“So if I turn into a boulderer, I’ll get better at routes?” asked No Chance.

“Yep” said Even Better Chance, who by now had completed his 18th lap of a 25 and was thinking of calling it a day.

“That’s it then – I’m going bouldering!” exclaimed No Chance, who secretly hoped that any new found strength would lead to his nickname being changed to ‘Some Chance’ plus a new found relationship with Pretty Good Chance, who was Even Better Chance’s sister.



No Chance and His Journey to Climbing Greatness (Part 2)

And so it was that No Chance bought himself a bouldering mat and started bouldering. He became so enamoured with it that he talked Pretty Good Chance into joining him on some forays into Stapylton. They laughed, they cried, they fell and they shouted 'C'mon baby' a lot. They forgot about the hassles of roped climbing and forged a partnership based on love, power and short black coffees. By day, they lived in their Moon Cypher pants. By night, they lived in each others pants.

Their relationship got stronger and stronger, as did their body tension and pinch grip strength. Relentless days spent hanging out in Hollow Mountain Cave yielded to relentless nights spent hanging in each others arms, content in the knowledge that tomorrow would bring more joy in new-found boulder problems and two finger undercling techniques. Gradually, No Chance morphed into Some Chance, and later - Great Chance. Pretty Good Chance, now his girlfriend, remained Pretty yet became Pretty Amazing Chance, particularly when she pulled off an ascent of Dead Can't Dance.

Old friends such as Even Better Chance turned up to see what this bouldering lark was all about, but after pumping his way across numerous 40 metre jugfests for several months, he couldn't compete, and so took off with Fat Chance to the nearest pub. There they marvelled at how No Chance had so quickly become Some Chance, and now had the best chance at marrying Pretty Amazing Chance who was, understandably, pretty amazing.

They drank and drank and drank, until Fat Chance pointed out that they'd have bugger all chance of climbing anything the next day - not that he was going to anyway. Even Better Chance (who by now was known as Lost Chance) called up In With A Chance and attempted to pour out his entire sad story to her, hoping she'd love him for what he was (a route climber that could no longer boulder) - but she was off with Great Chance learning the joys of advanced sloper technique (in his tent).

So Great Chance had two Chances, while Lost Chance, by now, had Absolutely F*ck All Chance.

"That's what you get for endurance training" he thought.



TO BE CONTINUED…

A dream is finally a (half) reality.

Left: Gulich on Punks in 1985

I can recall many many years ago hearing about this little route called 'Punks In The Gym'. Hardest route at Arapiles (and one of the harder in Oz) supposedly. Was then the hardest route in the world in 1985 they say. Fell to the deft touch of a certain German superstar. No, not Brüno. Wolfgang Gullich. R.I.P Wolfy.

Anyway, back to my story. Everytime I would return to Arapiles (which on average is maybe once a year now) I would gaze up at 'Punks' and dream. 'One day I will feel worthy of attempting such a route, but not today' Yet that dream was realised last week, as I ventured off to Araps mid week, for a break from the shit getting me down in the city. So when I was meant to be frantically running around a warehouse barking orders, I was caressing the very holds God himself had used to dance up the wall, in the clean, crisp, soul reviving, country air.

Oh my what a route! Not in years has a climb or boulder problem captured my attention as much as this. This one route has given me the motivation to train hard, and a goal to really strive for. Something my climbing life has been lacking for quite a while. And considering I have come close to giving up climbing several times this year, this could not have come at a better time.

So, along with myself, Taswegian lad Doug McConnel and super strong Kiwi lass Mayan Gobat-Smith (both of whom are a bees dick from the send) are currently working the route. Word has it some sneaky NSW folk were trying it earlier, and I just got off the phone with fellow A-Team-er Grosey who was spraying about how he's gonna swoop in fresh from his Nowra trip to snag an ascent before me, along with South Australian Mick Wells and sweet cheeks himself Pat Turner.

Game on moles!

Bring on the Punks renaissance!

- TheBigAl

Someone Save Me!

Who wants to give me a new job? One somewhere in the country. One where I don't have to stress about timelines. One where I don't have to take phone calls from egotistical head chefs of certain high profile restaurants complaining that their baby vegetables are all not of uniform size and shape. Where the pace of life seems to slow down to a gentle walk, instead of a mad sprint, and is preferably near the Grampians.

Everyday I wake up, struggle to leave my bed, and slink into work out of sheer habit. The monotony of the job seems to slowly kill me, just a little, day after day. The Boss Man takes it easy while I frantically keep things together. How many times do I have to tell the people I manage how to perform a task before they will learn it? I havent worked that one out yet. Apparently everyday for a whole week is still not enough for someone to learn how to clean up a single coolroom. Dear God! There's still another 3 coolrooms to go!

Then theres the sickness. Sleeping for 36 hours out of 48 hours over a weekend surely can't be normal? 2 climbing sessions in 4 weeks? Not cool dude, not cool.

On the upside, I just just finished watching The Wire. Holy shit what an awesome TV series! Just started on True Blood on the recomendation of a few. Now I'm tired again and dinner is almost ready.

Rant over.



- TheBigAl