Knee Bars are Cheating

Ok, so here's my first post. In direct contrast to previous posts on this blog...this should be taken with the upmost seriousness.

In recent times, it has come to the attention of COC (thats us, just in crazy computer lingo shorthand shit) that some of our classic grampians sport routes are becoming nothing more than rest-a-thons. A few recent ascents of Eye of the Tiger at Muline have utilised a kneebar that requires a pad, a pad for christ sake, only 3 moves from the obvious jugs that you hang on after the lip. One victorian who shall remain nameless only because he also writes on this site, only the other week tried to get a double knee bar just after the first bolt on Menstral as Anything, as the name suggests a pad would have come in handy, as this attempt proved futile.

Yesterday at the Gallery i witnessed two different paths Victorian climbing could head down. One one hand the next big thing in Australian climbing, The Pleb aka. Andrea Hah, dispatched Monkey Puzzle, 28, with more ease than ever before witnessed. Fucking A. On the other I heard sequences being discussed, not of moves, but rather of rests mainly kneebars, and boy there were a lot of kneebars. This of course meant knee pads yet again.

Is this what climbing is coming to? Do we no longer aspire to link together hard sequences of moves that push us to our limits, both physical and mental? Has climbing just become a series of rests where we get to feel safe and comfortable? I have done one such route, Lourdes in El Chorro. Hands down the softest 29 or 8a on the bloody planet - more like 26. This route is long maybe 30 meters, I can't remember I was almost asleep the whole route, due to the whole thing being a rest-fest. I would climb three moves, and then have to focus all my attention on reminding myself I was still on a route. how memorable.

I do regress, back to the knee bars. Scums are in, but pads should be out. Other wise we'll be over run with man-bladers. Thats right. Men or women (but man-bladers are generally male) clad in bike shorts and matching tops, covered head to to in hard plasic pads and probably a stack hat. Really, if you are putting that much weight into you knee then is really that necessary to use it? Here is an arstasitc depiction of what it will be like at the crags when these muppets get out.

Peace to your Mother. - Grosey

Projecting….. A love affair?

After reading Graeme Fairbairns’ article on stealing projects in a recent issue of Rock, I began thinking about the amount of time some of us spend projecting certain routes and problems. I’m not talking specifically about our own bolted routes; it could be anything from the classic old school test pieces of yesteryear or a new age boulder thug fest. Whatever it may be, many of us find ourselves dedicating countless days, sometimes years to one route, slowly & methodically beating it into submission. The reasons we project routes can be different for everyone, but overall I would say it boils down to one major point…What inspires you?

Now some of you may be thinking, "There is nothing special or difficult about sieging a route into submission’, anyone can do that!" This is simply not true. The perseverance and dedication required to stay motivated & keep training, of course while balancing life’s’ other commitments is not an easy task.

Everyone I spoke to about this question had similar answers… We are inspired by big impressive lines on beautiful stone. We like routes with a bit of history or a good story behind them, and most importantly, something we have to work for. If you don’t have to work for the route, be it on the onsight or a red-point it will undoubtedly be less memorable.

Here in lies the problem for us mere mortals incapable off reeling of 8a’s quicker than the local Horsham girl’s reel of their phone numbers. The big amazing lines with a colourful history unfortunately tend to be on the difficult side. Now don’t get me wrong, there are some amazing lower grade routes out there with phenomenal lines, but I doubt anyone would say they get the same feelings, the same sweaty palms when they look up at serpentine as they do when they look up at the Bard for example. Looking up at Taipan glowing in the afternoon sun is reason enough to remind anyone why we climb.

Many of us simply don’t have the time, or more importantly, time on rock, to get to the stage where we can climb routes at, or close to our limits, without at least some level of siege tactics. Meaning that if you want to climb one of those classic Grampians or Arapiles test pieces; be it Weaveworld, Mr Joshua, Monkey Puzzle or Punks in the gym, projecting is the only option.

I remember making a trip to the Gallery early on in my climbing life and just being blown away by what was possible. Gazing up at the line of Monkey puzzle, I knew it was a route I had to do. Five or so years later on a sunny September afternoon I found myself starting up the route, moving slowly between the bolts, gradually feeling out the movement required to get to the top. The feeling of just being on the route was amazing. By the end of my second day on the route I had managed to do the route in two sections and knew it was possible. I thought to myself, a route this good is worth as many days as it takes to do because I know it will be worth it in the end. My send of this HB classic still remains as one of the fondest memories in my climbing life.

There are some almost legendary stories of climbers dedicating themselves over many weeks & years in an attempt to finally send a project. I’m sure anyone who has invested a large amount of time into a route at their physical & mental limit, would know the pain of failing after the crux, pumping off on jugs, or worse, falling at the anchors.

It can be tough, keeping your sanity after you peel off the summit jugs for the umpteenth time. Nevertheless, there are countless climbers who dedicate weekend after weekend trying their current dream route because like so many of us, trying an amazing line is just like a love affair… Passionate, inspiring and of course difficult, and in the end always worth the effort!

And so it goes that love affairs, like all good things in life, eventually come to an end, and we find the whole process starts over as you fall in love all over again.

Phil


Phil on Monkey Puzzle (7c+/28), The Gallery, Grampians, Australia

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